Infertility Extras

I'm always finding different quotes, lists, and factual tidbits I'm running across in my journey through research, forums and blogs of others. And this is where I will share them with everyone else.

**I will do my best to give credit in where I pulled these from, and of course feel free to send me any others you have/find**

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Infertility 101: Get The Facts

(from The Pifer Family)

Myth: Infertility is a women's problem.

Fact: This is untrue. It surprises most people to learn that infertility is a female problem in 35% of the cases, a male problem in 35% of the cases, a combined problem of the couple in 20% of cases, and unexplained in 10% of cases. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up.

Myth: Everyone seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat.

Fact: More than five million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. When you seek support, you will find that you are not alone. Join RESOLVE, a support group, or talk with others who are struggling to build a family, so that you won't feel isolated.

Myth: It's all in your head! Why don't you relax or take a vacation. Then you'll get pregnant!

Fact: Infertility is a disease or condition of the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it. Improved medical techniques have made it easier to diagnose infertility problems.

Myth: Don't worry so much -- it just takes time. You'll get pregnant if you're just patient.

Fact: Infertility is a medical problem that may be treated. At least 50% of those who complete an infertility evaluation will respond to treatment with a successful pregnancy. Some infertility problems respond with higher or lower success rates. Those who do not seek help have a "spontaneous cure rate" of about 5% after a year of infertility.

Myth: If you adopt a baby you'll get pregnant!

Fact: This is one of the most painful myths for couples to hear. First it suggests that adoption is only a means to an end, not an happy and successful end in itself. Second, it is simply not true. Studies reveal that the rate for achieving pregnancy after adopting is the same as for those who do not adopt.

Myth: Why don't you just forget it and adopt? After all, there are so many babies out there who need homes!

Fact: For many, adoption is a happy resolution to infertility. But choosing how to build your family is a very personal decision. Learning about all the ways to build a family can open your eyes to options you may not have thought of as a possibility. Education is key to finding resolution.

Myth: Maybe you two are doing something wrong!

Fact: Infertility is a medical condition, not a sexual disorder.

Myth: My partner might leave me because of our infertility.

Fact: The majority of couples do survive the infertility crisis, learning in the process new ways of relating to each other, which deepens their relationship in years to follow.

Myth: Perhaps this is God's way of telling you that you two aren't meant to be parents!

Fact: It is particularly difficult to hear this when you are struggling with infertility. You know what loving parents you would be, and it is painful to have to explain to others that you have a medical problem.

Myth: Infertility is nature's way of controlling population.

Fact: Zero population growth is a goal pursued in a time of world overpopulation, but it still allows for couples to replace themselves with two children. Individuals or couples can certainly elect the option to be childfree or to raise a single child. Infertility, for those who desire children, denies them the opportunity to choose.

Myth: I shouldn't take a month off from infertility treatment for any reason... I just know that this next month will be THE one!

Fact: It is important periodically to reassess your treatment and your parenting goal. Continuity in treatment is important, but sometimes a break can provide needed rest and renewal for the next steps.

Myth: I'll be labeled a 'trouble maker' if I ask too many questions.

Fact: The physician/patient team is important. You need to be informed about what treatments are available. What is right for one couple may not be right for another, either physically, financially, or emotionally. Don't be afraid to ask questions of your doctor. A second opinion can be helpful. If needed, discuss this option with your physician.

Myth: I know I'll never be able to stop treatment until I have a pregnancy.

Fact: Pregnancy is not the only pathway to parenthood. You may begin to think more about parenthood than about pregnancy. You may long for your life to get back to normal. You may consider childfree living or begin to think of other ways to build a family.

Myth: I've lost interest in my job, hobbies, and my friends because of infertility. No one understands! My life will never be the same!

Fact: Infertility is a life crisis -- it has a rippling effect on all areas of your life. It is normal to feel a sense of failure that can affect your self-esteem and self-image. You will move through this crisis. It is a process, and it may mean letting go of initial dreams. Throughout this process, stay informed about the wide range of options and connect with others facing similar experiences.

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What Would You Say If I Were Paraplegic Instead Of Infertile?

(from Life in the Soupbowl) 

• As soon as you buy a wheelchair, I bet you'll be able to walk again!
• You can't use your legs? Boy, I wish I was paralyzed. I get so tired of walking, and if I were paralyzed I wouldn't have to walk anywhere!
• My cousin was paralyzed but she started shaving her legs in the other direction and she could walk again. You should try that.
• I guess God just didn't mean for you to be able to walk.
• Oh, I know exactly how you feel, because I have an ingrown toenail.
• Sorry, we don't cover treatment for paraplegia, because it's not a life-threatening illness.
• So... when are *you* going to start walking?
• Oh, I have just the opposite problem. I have to walk everywhere I go!
• But don't you *want* to walk?
• You're just trying too hard. Relax and you'll be able to walk.
• You're so lucky... think of the money you save on shoes.
• I don't know why you're being so selfish. You should at least be happy that *I* can walk.
• I hope you don't try those anti-paralyzation drugs. They sometimes make people run too fast and they get hurt.
• Look at those people hiking... doesn't that make you want to hike?
• Just relax, you'll be walking in no time.
• Oh do my legs hurt, I was walking and walking and going up and down the stairs all day.
• I broke my leg skiing, and was on crutches for weeks, and was worried I'd have a permanent limp, but I'm 100% healed.
• I'd ask you to be in my wedding party but the wheelchair will look out of place at the altar.
• You're being selfish, not coming on the hike with us, and looking at all of my track & field trophies.
• Don't complain, you get all the good parking places.
• If you just lose weight your legs will work again.
• If you would just have more sex, you could walk!
• You don't know how to walk? What's wrong with you? Here let a real man show you how to walk!
• You are just trying too hard to walk. Give up, and then you'll walk.
• Here, touch my legs, then you'll walk!
• Just take a vacation, and the stress-break will be sure to get you walking!Just take a vacation, and the stress-break will be sure to get you walking!
• When *we* were young we only had to worry about having to walk too much
• And I bet a paraplegic going to a bookstore doesn't find books about paralysis stacked next to all the books on running...

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