Somehow, this 6-month BC plan is making me go straight to "I'll never have a baby." I have this overwhelming feeling that I'm not going to birth my own child. I can no longer picture myself pregnant. I don't picture myself as a mommy anymore. I can't remember the last time I had a pregnancy dream. I definitely haven't been terribly sad to have stopped charting, and start having sex for fun ;) I'm just really on the fence about everything...where to go next, how much I think I can take emotionally. Maybe it's the "infertility breakdown" I've been reading about in others' blogs (I'm still a GREAT lurker!). Maybe I just need to suck it up and deal with these next 4 months, it's only BC for crying out loud! No one's taken my uterus/ovaries/tubes, SS's swimmers...you know, the important stuff in TTC.
Maybe it's just everything! SS made two comments within an hour the other day about reasons we're not parents yet...why we're not ready, blah, blah, blah. After the second, I
We're also still waiting for the SA. Somehow it just keeps getting put off...money, timing, etc. And I'm certain that is not helping my mood. Like we're somehow falling behind if we don't have answers tomorrow! Like we don't have 4 more months to wait, regardless of what any test comes back. I guess I just want to know...I'll worry about the waiting game to fix it and/or proceed after I know what needs fixed and how we're going to fix it. I just want answers, something...anything. I just want a baby in my arms!
(as always, check the Say What? page for all of the TTC acronyms)