Wednesday, October 24, 2012


That's what I did when I saw this today.  Crazy, not pregnant and not going to be for at least six months, ol' me today, decided to do some playing with a Due Date calculator.  And that's with high hopes of getting pregnant right off of BC.  I guess it just put it into perspective...and it definately didn't help my pessimistic pregnancy mood.  I hope to be out of it one day.  And on that day I'll have a baby in my belly/arms...however it gets there.  But as of late, it's much of the same.  I just feel like I won't ever be pregnant.  SS topped it today too, saying he's not giving up on a baby of our own, but he's mentally preparing for the reality of adoption.  I'm not ready for that now.  It's like a bad word to me...instant tears!  Not that I wouldn't or don't want to or haven't thought about it.  There are adoption websites saved right along with infertility...I think they pretty much go hand in hand.  But I want my OWN baby.  Part SS, part me..Our baby.

"Maybe we'll be lucky like your friend.  Get twins, then get twins.  Four babies!"  SS was referring to the story I told him of my teacher adopting after TTC (which I now have a WAY better understanding of).  They adopted twins, and shortly after (a few months) found out they were pregnant themselves, leading into the discovery of a twin pregnancy.  Four babies in less than two years!  She was an amazing woman...exactly what this 1st grader needed.  And I didn't even know it then.

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