Sunday, November 11, 2012

Two Weeks

2 weeks
14 days
336 hours

...these numbers are nothing new to me.  They're nothing new to any TTC-er.  The two week wait is famous in our world, it has it's own forum section and it is the #1 "crazy" time of anyone TTC, full of chart analysis (is that triphasic?), LEAST once a day (is that 2nd line?).  The rest of the cycle is the 'other' two week wait.  This one forces you to get creative with calendar space...temps (it's up today, did I O?), BD days/times (practice makes perfect ;), more POAS (is the line as dark/darker?).

Today, my two weeks is neither of the above.  Today I've been taking my BC pill for two weeks.  I've definitely noticed the hormones change (poor SS :) and my face is starting to break out for the first time in years (yipee!), but I've turned off my alarm, as there is no need to temp (and no need to get upset because I missed a temp someday between cd21-25...I could have O'd and missed it!!!), I would actually have to look up what cd I am even on (cd17 if anyone was wondering, I had to log in to find the comment below :)
(as always, check the Say What? page for all of the TTC acronyms)

I do feel I've become a little more accepting of where we are in our journey to a child of our own, at least I feel a lot better tonight.  I'm nowhere near okay, but I definately don't feel as angry as I have lately, empty, but not as angry.  I still will start to cry when some random "I may never have a child of my own" thought crosses my mind, which is still at least once a day.  But to really think about it, six month is less than 1/4 of the time we've spent TTC.  And I'm still holding on (a little tighter lately, too) that we got pregnant 4 mos off BC in the beginning.  Even the comment from someone on one of my forums did not discourage me.  Of course, I have not yet investigated into what exactly she meant by "I swear if I knedw what bc can do to our bodies I never would have used it years ago" but I suppose one of these days I will.  I'm no fool to think she's off her rocker, I have people in my life who have experienced problems from BC.  But as I think I have stated :) for me, I think it helps.  It will be interesting to have a "normal" cycle...when Dr. M first asked if I had normal cycles, I just laughed at her.  "Normal for who?  I've had them as short as 23 days and long as 52 without pregnancy, lately about 38-41 days."  She just nodded, though later seemed impressed that I could pinpoint a positive OPK.  Yes, I assure, I've got horomones running rampid through my body at O will SS :)  He loves me always!  I love him forever!

As these six months pass we are working our way to parenthood and having a nice, stable environment for our family.  We have recently added the journey of purchasing property.  We're starting small, there is some pretty cheap land around here (not the one above, but something like it), and we're hoping to capitalize on something special.  If nothing else, we will have a place that is "ours."  How exciting!  I feel so grown up -haha!

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